Prose that Blows 4 - Winter Wonderland (2010)

Red Christmas

It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus fell ill.
He was under a mountain of blankets, warding off chill.

Mrs. Claus took his temperature; ‘twas 102.
“Dear Nicholas,” she said, “Whatever should we do?”

With a cough and a hack, he beckoned an elf to his side.
That elf was Ginny, whose beauty and charm were bona fide.

Her long ginger hair flowed in tangles from beneath her cap.
Fit, young, perky: she was strictly kept from Santa’s lap.

Average: 3.6 (10 votes)


Pffffft. The genie arrived without fuss and smoke.

“Cool. Do I get three wishes?”

He checked his outfit.

“Wrinkle-free folding my ass.”

“Excuse me, but I just let you out. Do I get three wishes or not?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Thanks. Fire away.”

“I want you to help me with my new years resolutions.

“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I already told you.”

“You’re allowed to think about these things, map out possible consequences, make sure I’m not going to give you a Twilight Zone ending.”

Average: 3.2 (12 votes)

Christmas Protocol

“I said no.”

“C’mon,” I whined. “We’re both adults. Let’s do the presents now.”

“No!” cried Carol. “I told you, it’s only fun if you follow protocol.”

“There’s Christmas protocol?” I asked in disbelief.

Average: 4.1 (12 votes)

Office Party Blues

The office “holiday” party had been going on for over an hour. And although it was scheduled to run for at least another two hours, Charlotte didn’t think she could last that long. The introduction of alcohol into the party had caused her generally tolerable co-workers to become, well, less than tolerable. It had become painfully clear to Charlotte that at least a third of her co-workers were lightweights when it came to alcohol. On top of that, it was also clear to her as to what kind of drunks each of her co-workers were.

Average: 3.5 (4 votes)
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