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Nineteenthly

Double or Pop

Submitted by nineteenthly on Tue, 06/20/2017 - 03:30
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I'd been so excited when I got the letter to appear on 'Extreme Bad Girls Club', my favourite TV game show. It was basically a general knowledge quiz but with forfeits in each round which were invented anew every episode, so you never knew what it had in store for you. These afternoon broadcasts were a secret vice of mine, but sitting there on the sofa at home I found I could answer every single question correctly. I'd got through the auditions fine and at last I'd been called up to appear live.

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Average: 4.1 (18 votes)

Bates-Gerson Effect, The

Submitted by nineteenthly on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:33
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The Bates-Gerson Effect

 

The Gerson-Bates Effect:  Teleportation involves the exchange of equal volumes.

 

Martin Gerson was satisfied with his statement.  Yes, that seemed about right, he thought to himself as he typed the line.  It fitted all the observed data.

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Average: 3.7 (10 votes)

Day in the Life of a Popper, A

Submitted by nineteenthly on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 04:11
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A Day In The Life of a Popper

 

Before I tell you what I do for a living, I want to say two things about my job.  One is that I'm probably effectively a mass murderer according to most of you.  That's obviously not how I see it and I don't know anyone else in this line of work who does. 

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Average: 3.4 (12 votes)

Birthday Presents

Submitted by nineteenthly on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 06:05
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Birthday Presents

 

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Average: 4 (11 votes)

Mystery of Spontaneous Human Inflation, The

Submitted by nineteenthly on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 02:57
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Spontaneous Human Inflation

 

On the crisp, sunny winter morning of 22nd January 2020, Graham Donaldson began his usual daily round of reading water meters in the small town of Wellingboro Connecticut.  His first call was to the well-known “blond bombshell” of the district:  Dr Jane Ingoldsby, admired from afar by many a red-blooded male for over a decade.

 

Spontaneous Human Inflation

 

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Average: 2.2 (6 votes)

Very Serious Case of the Hiccups, A

Submitted by System on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 17:56
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When I signed up to study ecology, I had visions of visiting exotic biomes. I daydreamed of swimming through Caribbean reefs and discovering a new species of pufferfish or finding a violet poison dart frog in Amazonia. The reality is that you have to go where the money will take you. So there I was, knee-deep in the effluent from Grimesworth Dye Works in a freezing polluted stream, sifting out the red water mites to take them back to the lab and test them for mutated bacteria. This dominated my life, regardless of the season. I was paying my dues for my PhD.

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Average: 3.3 (8 votes)

Stiff Lower Lip

Submitted by System on Sun, 04/03/2011 - 22:25
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Dougal Macintosh, renowned mesmerist, dashingly swept through the Empire’s second city in his stylish black cape. Since Princess Victoria’s convenient demise, his family’s pneumatics concerns had risen dirigible-like through the smoky vapours of Glaswegian society. One brother devised the Pneumatic Analytical Engine, and the other headed the North British Atmospheric Railway Corporation, whose air-driven carriages vigorously thrust through the tunnels beneath the former Dear Green Place. Yet beneath his dark brocaded waistcoat beat a heart of jet-black dastardliness.

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Average: 3.5 (8 votes)

Method Acting

Submitted by System on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 00:26
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Charlie And The Chocolate Factory was a hit with the kids yet certain healthy eating lobbyists had always been concerned about its promotion of junk food, so they wrote their own version, Toria And The Tofu Factory, a story about a group of children who win tickets to a healthfood factory, where they meet various entertaining demises such as drowning in a vat of wheatgrass juice or being turned into rice cakes. Amazingly, it was even more popular and the day inevitably came when it was made into a movie and a theme park followed.

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Average: 3.4 (10 votes)

Amanda the Balloon Girl

Submitted by System on Tue, 09/18/2007 - 19:44
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It was my first day at Gremlin's toy shop. I had always wanted to work with children, so this was a big thing, and even though I was going to have to start at the bottom doing menial and probably humiliating tasks I was really looking forward to it.

I was now sitting in an ancient-looking, clean but dimly-lit wood-panelled room with an antique looking oak desk behind which sat an antique looking oak gentleman in a tweed suit. This contrasted with the public part of the shop, which was trendy and modern, all chrome and glass with the latest gadgets for children everywhere.

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Average: 4.3 (14 votes)
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