Male Inflation

Tonight was the night.

Cliff Brown had been waiting for this anniversary for quite some time now, one whole year to be exact. He had finally done it. He had lasted with one girl for a year; no breakups, hardly any fighting, the works. He didn’t even mind the fact that he had to wait for this elusive night to sleep with her. It would be worth it, he told himself, even if he had to wait another year. Quickly dismissing that thought from his head, he rushed from the washroom, splashing after-shave over his 18 year old, still rather boyish, face.

or, "Aesop? Aesop Who?"

Jamie sighed. It was nearly eight o’clock, and she had begun to regret having accepted Bob’s invitation to meet for dinner. She hadn’t seen him for quite a while, and remembered him as being rather dull. In fact, the only memorable event she recalled with any clarity was the “molotov cocktail” she’d given him. Bored to tears on their first (and only) date, she’d fed him salted peanuts, potato chips and pretzels. Then, she had offered an outrageously thirsty Bob a huge pitcher of a bland concoction consisting of water and the contents of a large box of baking soda.

I was over at my girlfriend's place, Tammy. Every time I see her I marvel at how I could have gotten such a girl. She stood all of about five foot tall. She had long red hair that was both curly and wavy and framed her head just right. She had bright green eyes that just made her absolutely gorgeous. What I marveled most is her body. She was absolutely fit and trim. There couldn't have been an ounce of fat on her body, yet she swears she needs to drop about twenty pounds. I keep asking her how is she going to do that without loping off a body part.