Captured: A Spy Story

Date Written: 

Jane glanced up at the compressed helium pill nestled between the fingers of her left hand. The little grey capsule was incredibly innocuous-looking, considering just how much compressed gas it contained.

When Jane was captured, the helium pill was the only thing she managed to hold on to undetected; all of her other gear had been unceremoniously stripped away the moment she was subdued. The minuscule capsule, however, was small enough that it was easily overlooked as she kept it secreted in the palm of her hand.

Unfortunately, though, that particular detail didn’t help Jane very much in her current predicament; her hands were currently tied up over her head and she was dangling a good six inches off the ground in the middle of a large, open room.

She had just been captured infiltrating the secret compound of the criminal mastermind Ernestine Blowfeld. Jane had made it fairly far without being noticed but then she had gotten careless. The last thing she remembered was being caught by the guards near one of the vehicle bays, and being dragged inside here and hung up to be interrogated. Her wrists were now secured to a beam in the ceiling and she couldn’t do anything about it. As far as Jane could tell, she had been imprisoned in a disused storage room off the main hangar, somewhere along the outer edge of the complex.

Jane tried not to panic. This was hardly the first time she’d gotten into a tight spot. But getting captured was her fault; she had gotten cocky. If there was one thing Jane learned during her time as an operative for MI6, it’s that you don’t get ahead of yourself. You have to stay sharp and in the moment.  All it took was the briefest distraction and you wound

Once she was strung up, the armed guards who had captured her departed the room, presumedly off to search the extensive complex for other intruders (there were none…she was running solo, but that didn’t mean the entire security force wouldn’t spend the next several hours making sure that was the case). It was just her, the walls, the floor, and a few empty wooden crates and dusty shelves to keep her company. She was able hear voices outside, though, so she knew they hadn’t left her completely alone. She wasn’t entirely sure where the voices were coming from; they could’ve been right outside the door or they could’ve been a dozen yards down the hallway.

The voices soon grew louder and she heard someone shouting orders. Jane still couldn’t make out the muffled words, but she recognized the voice giving the orders as that of a woman. It had to be Ernestine Blowfeld herself. It took no time for the voices to move close enough to clearly make out what they were saying.

“I want to question the prisoner myself,” commanded the woman. “You men will wait outside. Make sure no one else has infiltrated the building.”

Jane watched the door through narrowed eyes, patiently awaiting her fate. A few moments passed before the door opened, revealing a tall, slender woman clad in a tight black latex bodysuit and a pair of matching black high heeled shoes. The strikingly beautiful woman had short, dark hair and a slim face.

“Ernestine Stavroula Blowfeld, I presume?” asked Jane, keeping her voice confident despite her precarious position.

Ernestine gave her a cold stare as she entered the room, closing the door behind her. She got right down to business. “Who are you?  Who do you work for?”

Jane smiled back. “Just a girl scout selling cookies,” she replied. “Can I interest you in some thin mints?”

Jane’s quip seemed to amuse Ernestine as the briefest of smiles flashed across her otherwise steely countenance. “What do you want?” she demanded as she approached Jane, assessing the spy hanging before her.

“Oh, I just wanted to know more about you, Miss Blowfeld,” said Jane innocently. “Your reputation precedes you. Everyone knows how brilliant you are. How cunning. How cruel. But no one has ever really known the real you.”

“Well, I suppose this will give us both something interesting to talk about while we’re here,” Ernestine replied, now within an arm’s length of Jane. “Tell me, Agent…?”

“Agent Bond, Jane Bond,” Jane replied. “Special Operations Division, MI6. And you must be the infamous Ernestine Blowfeld, the mastermind behind this entire operation!”

“Indeed, I am,” Ernestine confirmed. “Now tell me why you’ve come here today. Why you’ve risked everything to infiltrate my organization. What is it that you hope to accomplish?”

“Why, nothing less than the destruction of your criminal empire,” answered Jane matter-of-factly.

Ernestine chuckled. “If only you weren’t hanging from the ceiling,” she mused, “you might actually stand a sporting chance.”

“Yes, well,” said Jane, trying to sound nonchalant, “I work best when my options are somewhat limited.”

Ernestine continued to laugh as she stood face-to-face with Jane. Even with Jane dangling six inches off the floor, the criminal mastermind was easily tall enough to stare her square in the eyes.

“Do you think you ever stood a chance?” Ernestine asked, standing close enough for Jane to feel Ernestine’s breath on her face.

“No,” admitted Jane. “But sometimes you need to take a risk, knowing you’ll fail. To show your enemies that you won’t give up.”

Ernestine pivoted sharply on her heel, turning her back to Jane to show she wasn’t afraid of her. “And what happens once you’ve failed?” she asked, still facing away.

“Then I’m dead,” said Jane simply, quickly looking upward. The spy spread her fingers, letting the capsule slip from her hand into her open mouth. As soon as she did so, Ernestine turned back around to face her again.

“Well, since you insist,” said Ernestine calmly, “I’m sure we can fulfill that request.”

Jane took a deep breath, holding the pill between clenched molars. Then, without warning, she kicked out and wrapped her legs around Ernestine Blowfeld’s waist, pulling the villainess in close to her body. Ernestine yelped in surprise, reaching for the gun at her hip but Jane proved quicker. Before Ernestine could react, Jane pressed her lips against Ernestine’s, kissing her hard and fast.

Taking the opportunity, Jane pushed the capsule into Ernestine’s mouth with her tongue, feeling the woman’s throat muscles swallow the pill as soon as it hit her soft palate. Jane then pulled her head back, breaking the kiss, and watched as Ernestine coughed and sputtered, shocked by what had just transpired. Jane kept her hold on the woman’s waist as she waited for the effects of the helium pill to kick in.

Ernestine struggled in vain, fighting against the strong grip of the agent’s legs around her waist. Her hands flailed wildly as she tried to push Jane off of her, but Jane held firm, not letting go.

After a moment, Ernestine suddenly stopped struggling, instead focusing on the peculiar bubbling sensation she was experiencing as her body began to fill with helium.

“What…what did you do!?!” Ernestine gasped, feeling the pressure building inside her stomach as her belly visibly rose and swelled. Her sturdy leather belt quickly grew snug across her abdomen, then increasingly tighter and tighter, cinching Ernestine around the middle as her body continued to expand above and below the restrictive band. After several agonizing moments the straining buckle burst open with a loud “POP!”, sending the ravaged belt flying off and Ernestine’s gun clattering along the floor into the far corner of the room.

Immediately Jane felt Ernestine’s waist inflate rapidly, forcing the spy’s legs apart as she tried to keep them wrapped around the ballooning woman. Ernestine looked down in horror as she saw her own midsection swelling outward at an alarming rate, rounding out and stretching the rubbery fabric of her bodysuit until the material developed a glossy sheen to it. Both women could clearly hear the hollow hissing sound emanating from deep within Ernestine’s body as she swelled bigger and bigger.

Within moments, Jane could barely keep her legs wrapped around Ernestine’s once-trim midriff as the criminal mastermind’s stomach grew larger by the second.

Tearing her eyes away from the gripping image of herself blowing up, Ernestine finally looked back at Jane, fear evident in her wide eyes. “You…you…”

“Me?” Jane smirked. “I didn’t do anything. You’re the one who swallowed a capsule of compressed helium and now you’re the one blowing up like a balloon.”

“No! No!” screamed Ernestine, the pitch of her voice rising as the helium inundated her system. “Get off of me! Let me go! Get off!”

Jane ignored the cries, instead using her legs around Ernestine’s swelling body as leverage, lifting the spy’s bound wrists from the hook suspending her from the ceiling. With a quick tug, Jane pulled herself free, allowing the spy to fall nimbly to the floor. She landed lightly and rolled onto her feet in front of the criminal mastermind, even as the now-free Ernestine awkwardly stumbled back several feet on legs that had an increasingly hard time bending. Once squarely on the ground, Jane made quick work of the ropes binding her wrists together.

The criminal leader meanwhile wobbled on her feet, her stance widening in a vain attempt to keep herself from toppling over. Ernestine swayed slightly back and forth, her stiffening arms involuntarily lifting upward from her sides. The criminal mastermind struggled as she tenuously regained her balance.

A wide-eyed Ernestine looked down at herself again, noticing her growing resemblance to a shiny black starfish, her massively bulging torso extending outward to splayed and bloated arms and legs that formed an “X”.

“I don’t…I don’t know how much more I can hold,” panted Ernestine, her voice comically high-pitched. “It feels like my entire body is stretched tight.”

Jane laughed quietly, amused at the sight of her former captor’s bloated body. She walked slowly around the teetering form of Ernestine Blowfeld, watching as the criminal leader began to round out completely. The woman’s limbs were rapidly being absorbed into the glossy expanse of her latex bodysuit; only her hands and feet remained poking out along the surface of the giant sphere while her head stuck out of the top.

“This is really rather impressive,” said Jane, reaching out and cautiously touching Ernestine’s belly. “You’ve managed to grow quite large.”

Like a globe slowly rotating, Ernestine managed a few inelegant, clumsy steps, turning herself partway to face the door; the criminal-mastermind-turned-balloon quickly realized she had grown much too wide to fit through the narrow frame. With the gracelessness of a rotund penguin, she turned back towards Jane, who stared at the helpless villainess intently.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” muttered Ernestine, her voice sounding more and more like an angry chipmunk.

“I’d love to stick around and watch your grand finale,” said Jane with a smirk. “But unfortunately, I have some other business to attend to. So, I’m afraid that’s all the fun I’ll be having with you today.”

“Bitch!” squeaked Ernestine, struggling to stay upright as her body continued to swell. By now, she appeared as little more than a shiny black ball stretching almost five feet across, her palms flat on her taut, latex-covered skin and her feet firmly planted on the ground. She was swiftly losing the ability to even move her head about as the curving sphere of her body pushed upward on her chin.

“Well, I guess there’s nothing left for me to do but leave you to your fate,” said Jane, stepping away from the ponderous shape of Ernestine Blowfeld. The spy climbed over some crates and up some empty shelves to a window placed high in the far wall. With a growing sense of urgency, Jane pulled the grime-encased window open, ducking through.

The criminal leader tried desperately to make eye contact with the escaping woman, but her straining body kept her too busy to focus on anything else. Her lip quivered as if trying to say something to Jane but no sound came out. One of the only sounds in the room was a hiss that grew louder by the second as it issued forth from her body. Accompanying that were the subtle groans and squeals of rubber that had been stretched to its absolute limits. Ernestine Blowfeld gritted her teeth when she realized her body had stopped expanding, unable to hold any more, but the pressure continued to build up inside her.

Jane stepped into the darkness outside, pulling the window shut behind her. As she made her escape into the jungle from the criminal compound, the spy heard the thundering boom echoing behind her.

Author's Note: 

Author's Note: A quick one-off. This story was actually supposed to be just a writing exercise for creativity's purposes; the premise has already been used dozens of times before I'm sure. But the end product, polished up a bit, while derivative seemed halfway decent enough to post. So enjoy, if it amuses you.

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