BITV

“Percy, put that camera away,” Holly snapped. “We’re still setting up.”

“I know. This is the producer’s idea. He wants some behind-the-scenes footage of BITV for a ‘making of’ episode.”

“Fine, but can you at least wait until I have my face on?”

Body Inflation TeleVision was operating on a shoestring budget. Were it not for the availability of affordable video equipment and free internet distribution channels, it couldn’t have happened at all. For now they were mostly running on charity and volunteers. Even their “studio” was a vacant office suite donated by a fan.

It was actually an excellent location for the project. It had lots of open space and large rooms with high ceilings. Given the subject matter of the series, having spacious sets for filming was vital. But unless and until they worked out a revenue stream, the spokesperson for BITV would be doing her own hair and makeup for the shows.

Holly didn’t mind. She felt fortunate to have her makeshift dressing room, a repurposed executive office. While far from luxurious, it had been equipped with a few welcome amenities that they’d managed to scrounge up. Holly hoped to retreat to it before Percy could get much more footage of her in her unkempt state.

Just as Holly was reaching for the doorknob, the door opened. Holly found herself standing before a tall, lithe woman clad entirely in sapphire blue latex and nothing else. Her hair flowed down past her shoulders and framed her beautiful, delicate features in lustrous, fiery waves. Her thin lips were set in an annoyed frown.

“Will someone please explain to me why I’m supposed to wear this wig?” she asked.

“That’s a wig?” The sight of the woman’s glorious tresses had inspired instant envy. Holly was shocked that they weren’t real. 

“Okay, the outfit I get. Our target audience is balloon pervs so it makes sense for me to look like a life-sized blow-up doll. It’s a little short in the arms and legs, but I can work with it,” she said before continuing her rant. “But I am a proud, natural blonde. Gentlemen prefer blondes. We have more fun. Why the hell did someone put this wig in my dressing room?”

“Your dressing room?” Holly sputtered. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Candi, with an ‘I’. And I’m the new spokesmodel for BITV,” she said cheerily.

“Wait, wait, I’m pretty sure that’s my job,” Holly snapped.

“No, you’re the spokesperson. I’m the spokesmodel. You deal with people and get to be all intellectual and insightful and do interviews and commentaries and stuff. I stand around and look hot, talk sexy, and bring in the big bucks.” She struck a pose, placing a hand on an outthrust hip and flashing a brilliant smile at an imagined photographer. “Didn’t the producer tell you I was coming?”

“No,” Holly replied. “And I can’t imagine why he would want some random — person swooping in from out of nowhere to take over the show.”

“Maybe that’s why he’s a producer and you’re not. Look, there’s only one dressing room. A spokesperson can do without. A spokesmodel cannot.” She looked back into the room. “If you can even call this a dressing room. Tell my personal assistant that we’re almost out of bottled water and I refuse to drink tap. Also, my name notwithstanding, I’d appreciate some snacks that aren’t pure sugar. And this mirror simply will not do. I’ll need something taller and wider. So now if you’ll excuse me, I need to practice my lines. Oh, and I found this on the table. It’s addressed to you.”

Candi handed an envelope to Holly and promptly shut the door in her face. Holly could hear her on the other side.

“I feel funny! No, that’s not right. I feel funny! Yeah, that’s better…”

Holly rolled her eyes at Candi’s inept delivery. “I can’t believe that little —”

“Still recording,” Percy said.

Without missing a beat, Holly composed herself, engaged her broadcast-quality smile, and waved at the camera. “Good evening and welcome! This is Holly with BITV —”

“And Candi!” she shouted from behind the door. Holly spared a fraction of a second for a sneer before she continued.

“Good evening, this is Holly and Candi with BITV.” Holly made her way to the news desk as she spoke, hoping to avoid any further interruptions.

“Our studio is still under construction, but today you can get an advance sneak peek behind the scenes to see how things get done here at BITV. Despite a few logistical hiccups, we’re moving full steam ahead to launch a new web series by and for the body inflation community. And it looks like we already have our first piece of fan mail. Let’s see what,” she looked at the envelope, her eyes lighting up, “Dan has to say.” She extracted the enclosed letter and read it aloud.

Dear Holly,

I was extremely excited to hear that someone was putting together a program about body inflation. I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with. As a long-time member of the community, I want to offer whatever support I can in this endeavor.

“Thanks, Dan,” Holly said, giving a thumbs up to the camera. “I’m quite familiar with your work. Big fan.” She continued.

I hope I’m not being too presumptuous. I’ve sent a little care package with a few items that I hope you’ll find a use for on the show. I’ve also outlined some scenarios that I’d like to see you explore, if it’s not too much trouble.

“Don’t worry, you’re not being presumptuous, and it’s no trouble at all,” Holly said. “We’re always open to suggestions here at BITV. And I love presents even when it’s not Christmas.”

Inside you’ll find the following:

1 latex catsuit, blue. I hope it fits well.

“I think Candi’s already found that,” Holly grumbled.

1 wig, red. No particular reason. Nope, none at all.

“Of course. It’s beautiful, and if I ever manage to get it from Candi, I’ll happily wear it for you,” she purred, followed by a softly uttered, “unlike some spokesmodels.”

2 bottles of liquid helium. For the sake of your crew’s safety and BITV’s insurance premiums, I strongly urge you to use it in moderation and only on consenting subjects.

“So it’s do as I say, not as I do, then?” Holly said, raising a reproving eyebrow. “Come on, can’t you let a girl have any fun?”

1 canister of JH-12. Don’t worry, this is the gaseous version that makes you curvy, not its liquid namesake that makes you round and then explode.

“Thank you. We take safety quite seriously here at BITV, and we certainly wouldn’t want anyone here to explo-holy shit!” Holly stopped suddenly, her eyes going wide.

“What’s wrong?” Percy asked.

“Didn’t Candi say we were almost out of bottled water?” Holly asked.

“Yeah. And apparently we need healthier snacks, too.”

“Do we even have bottled water?”

“Of course not,” Percy replied, “but she doesn’t have a personal assistant either. Hey! Where are you going?”

“Stay right there!” Holly shouted over her shoulder as she dashed back to the dressing room. 

She found Candi standing in front of the mirror with a bundle of papers in one hand and a metal bottle in the other.

“Oh my God! What’s happening to — hey!” Candi snapped. “Don’t you know how to knock? What the hell do you want?”

Holly snatched the bottle from her and nearly dropped it; it was shockingly cold. It was clearly labeled LIQUID HELIUM in large block letters. And it was nearly empty.

Oh crap.

“Um, Candi, did you drink all of this?” she asked nervously.

“No!” she growled. “I didn’t get a chance to finish it because some psycho barged in and took it from me. Don’t worry, there’s one left if you want some. It’s in the box over there.”

“Didn’t you read the label?”

“Hello? It’s water. I may be a natural blonde, but that doesn’t mean I need instructions for drinking water.”

“Didn’t you notice anything odd about the taste?”

Candi shrugged. “It tastes like mineral water. What’s the big deal?”

“You, pretty soon,” Holly said, warily looking her over.

“What are you talking about?”

“That wasn’t mineral water. You just drank most of a bottle of liquid helium.”

“You really think I’m dumb, don’t you? Helium’s a gas for blowing up balloons. Liquid helium isn’t even a real thi—” She gasped, dropping her papers. Candi placed a hand on her belly, lips pursed and brow furrowed as she tried to put words to the strange sensation that was rising within her.

“I feel funny.”

“Nailed it that time,” Holly muttered.

“What’s happening?” she asked. “My tummy feels all bubbly and bloated.” Candi’s once-flat stomach was now noticeably round and growing more so with each passing second.

“Liquid helium is really cold. When it warms up, it stops being a liquid and turns into a gas.”

“Wait, what? What’s happening to my voice?” she squeaked in a rapidly rising pitch.

“That would be the helium turning into a gas. Helium gas, as you’ve already mentioned, is used for —”

“I’m blowing up like a balloon!” Candi cried out, pressing down on the growing swell of her belly.

“— blowing up balloons,” Holly finished. “Which is basically what you are now.”

Candi felt the pressure within her rise, spreading upward to her bosom. Her breasts rapidly filled out and squeezed together, bulging up and forming spectacular cleavage in the catsuit’s neckline.

“Wow,” Candi marvelled, briefly distracted from the peril of her predicament. “So this liquid helium stuff is basically a boob-job in a bottle? I’m not saying that I need a boob-job or anything, but I sure don’t mind giving the girls a little boost.” She smiled, lifting her hands up to her expanding bosom and doing just that.

“But it’s not just ‘the girls’ who’ll be getting a boost, and I don’t think it’ll be a little one.”

“Wait, my ass, too?” Candi’s hands flew from her bosom to her backside to find that copious, high-pressure junk was rapidly filling her trunk. Her buttocks ballooned, the swelling quickly spreading outward and downward, broadening her hips and plumping up her thighs. Meanwhile, her breasts had continued to steadily distend.

“I guess this isn’t so bad,” Candi said nervously, taking stock of her increasingly distended figure. “The curvy look is in, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Holly wanted to be reassuring, but Candi was far beyond any reasonable scale of curvy, and showed no signs of slowing. Candi’s hourglass figure was so massive it was less of a timepiece than it was a calendar. Trying to measure her in minutes would be largely, very largely, pointless. She had long since left Voluptuous in the dust and was about to sail past Ludicrous and enter the Realm of Alarming.

“Okay, I think I’m plenty big now,” Candi said. “Actually, I think this is too much. How do I stop this?”

“You stop it by not drinking liquid helium,” Holly snapped. Candi’s belly rejoined the rest of her swelling curves on the journey to massiveness, her middle easily catching up to her top and bottom. The vast expanse of blue latex strained to contain Candi’s collection of burgeoning bulges.

“It’s a little late for that!” Candi snapped back. Her arms were plumping up, the pressure forcing them to straighten and rise.

“Yeah, I know. There’s nothing we can do but let it run its course. You’ll stop inflating when all of the helium’s turned into gas.”

“How big will I get?” Candi asked. Her face was puffing up, her limbs becoming increasingly swollen. Her feminine features were growing less distinct as Candi grew larger.

“I, uh —” Holly realized she had no idea. “Probably not much bigger?” she said, hoping Candi couldn’t hear the concern in her voice. The original test subject had nearly burst, and Candi had drunk far more than just a few gulps.

“I hope not,” Candi said. “I’m starting to feel kinda full. I don’t know how much more I can hold.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Holly said. But in the event that she was wrong, she wanted to salvage as much from the situation as possible. She placed the nearly empty bottle of liquid helium into the box beside the remaining one. Along with the canister of JH-12, she noticed that the box contained what appeared to be a jar full of candy and a six-pack of brightly colored soda in glass bottles.

“I’ll be sure to finish reading that letter before I try any of those.”

“I’m floating!” Candi wailed. Holly looked up from the box to see a nearly spherical Candi lifting up from the floor.

“Oh crap!” Thinking fast, Holly took a running leap toward Candi. She just barely managed to grab hold of a bit of wig before Candi floated out of reach. But the hair slipped between Holly’s fingers, pulling with enough force to set Candi slowly spinning but not enough to dislodge it from her head.

“Help me!” Candi screamed. “Don’t let me float away!”

“You’re indoors,” Holly reminded her. By her estimation, buoyancy was the least of Candi’s concerns. She was enormous, and while her rate of inflation had slowed, it hadn’t stopped. Holly wasn’t at all certain that it would before the poor girl burst.

Holly was astonished that the catsuit had held up under the onslaught of such a massive volume of Candi. Though it remained intact, the material had been stretched to translucency. Holly felt a twinge of guilt heavily laced with anxiety. Latex of this quality wasn’t cheap. Just thinking about the possibility that she’d have to explain to Dan how such a generous gift didn’t survive its first day on set filled her with dread.

Hey Dan, I’m sorry about that extremely expensive catsuit you donated. Turns out our airhead of a spokesmodel decided to try it on right before she guzzled a whole goddamned liter of liquid helium.

Candi grunted as she made contact with the ceiling. “Oomph. Uh, I’m feeling really full! A little help here, people? Could somebody please do something!” She’d rotated enough that her head remained in view. Her face was alarmingly swollen, even her lips had plumped up to a breathtaking size. Her body was completely round. Aside from her head, the only interruption Holly could see in her vast blue surface was the dimple where her comically puffed up hand protruded.

And she was still getting bigger.

I have to come up with a better story, Holly thought to herself. She’d rather try to sell a ridiculous fabrication than admit that the BITV staff was so incompetent. I’m sorry, Dan, but the suit was destroyed in a fire. Or an earthquake? Maybe a hurricane?

“Ooooohhh,” Candi groaned, her cheeks flushing pink.

Holly noticed that Candi had grown so enormous that her head might be within reach. That wig would come in quite handy if she had to deliver an apology. And the strained squeaks she heard coming from the overstretched latex made her think that was increasingly likely.

“Let’s get this off of you. You never liked it anyway.” Holly climbed up onto the table, jumped up, and pulled the wig from Candi’s head.

“What are you doing?” Candi cried out as her platinum curls spilled into view.

Holly put the wig on. Not wanting to raise any alarms by going out looking dishevelled, she took a brief moment to preen in the mirror. She smiled at her reflection. With this and a couple of puffs of JH-12, I’ll be good to go.

“Don’t worry, I’ll send your personal assistant to get help,” she called up to Candi. “We’ll have you sorted out in no time.”

“Tell her to hurry up or she’s fucking fired!” Candi screamed.

“Will do!” Holly picked up the box and made a hasty exit, pulling the door closed behind her.

“Red looks good on you,” Percy said.

Holly jumped. “Oh, hi! Well, a promise is a promise, after all. And I thought I told you to stay by the news desk.”

“Not much to film there,” he said. “How’d you manage to get the wig from Candi?”

“She, uh, didn’t want it any more,” Holly said. “She thought her creative process would go better with her own look.”

“Hey, I’m still blowing up! Somebody help me, I’m getting too big!” Candi wailed.

“Wow, it worked,” Percy said. “She wasn’t that good at first, but she’s really selling those lines now.”

“I think she just needed to find her inspiration. She’s really gotten into the role now.”

“But how’s she making her voice sound so high?” Percy asked.

“Does it really sound high to you? I think her voice just naturally does that.”

“Nnnnngh! Oh fuck, the pressure! It’s too much! I’m gonna burst! I’m gonna pop! I’m gonna explode!” Candi’s cries were followed by an ominous rubbery groan that was steadily growing louder.

“What’s that noise?” Percy asked anxiously.

“Um, I think that noise means we’ve filmed enough for today and should wrap this up,” Holly said hurriedly before smiling into the camera. “Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s all we have for today. This is Holly with BITV — ”

“And Cand—” Candi was cut off by an ear-splitting bang that reverberated through the building. The floor shook, the lights flickered, and dust drizzled down from the ceiling.

Holly tried to suppress a smirk as she waited for the rumbling echoes to fade. She casually smoothed back a wayward red lock that had been shaken loose by the blast and continued.

“This is Holly with BITV, signing off for the evening,” she said with a grin. “And by the sound of things, the spokesmodel position just became available. If you’re a lady who’s charismatic, photogenic, and a stickler for reading labels, please apply through our website. Thank you, and goodnight.”

All tags:

• floating
• latex
• helium

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