Alexa P Vs. Emily B

Date Written: 

The Story of Alexa P and Emily B


This is the story of Alexa P,

and how she was burst 'cuz of Emily B.

The two were very best friends, and did high school until the end.

Little did they know, tho', that their hatred for each other would grow-grow.


In high school, Emily spat spitballs;

In summer, Alexa went to the malls;

In classroom, A would conquer B;

she made her jealous, for those to see;


She always got her answer right;

And B thought it was because she was so uptight;

In high school, there really was no other;

So Emily then said bad things 'bout her mother.


"What did you say?" The spoiled girl cried,

"I think you said my mother lied! 

Well, if suits you, I'd like to see, 

if you're the brightest apple on the tree!"


"I'd like to see, and you should know,

that your mother is quite a ho."

Emily B then smiled and grinned,

she stroked her hand under her chinny-chin'd.


"And you should know," Alexa said,

"That when your mom goes down to bed,

it's not your dad that she does see,

but rather the guy who climbs up her tree!"


Emily spat and cursed and fussed;

Alexa had never heard her friend cuss;

And when E B finished her bitching spree,

she produced a letter for Alexa to see.


Alexa accepted the letter, a challenge:

it invited her to the desert, out into the mountains;

"If you see this letter, Alexa P," she said sneerily,

"It means it's from me, it's Emily B. Come to the desert, and we'll finish our spree."


Alexa thought her this, much redress:

"What does Emily write for, I confess?

This letter does not make much sense. 

However, I accept whatever consequence."


And in her Porsche she did ride, 

with six dear friends (hanging on her side).

Out to the desert, find the Emily B,

And if something happened, her friends would be there to see.


"I wonder what that Emily's hiding,"

A. said, gripped the wheel, hanged on to the siding.

Her friends just gulped down their drinks, sweaty and hot,

In the car, getting close, comfortable -- not.


A. would keep them as insurance;

if something happened, they'd tell their parents.

Just keep it safe from Emily B, and hide out in the back of the car -- she wouldn't see.


Emily B stood under a tree, crossing her legs, plain as could be.

Alexa got out of the car and stood -- her friends hid out, underneath the hood.


"Get those guys out," Emily immediately demanded.

"I can see that you're anything but stranded. If anything happens to you, I swear,

they'll hear about it... even if they're not there."


"What do you mean?" Alexa queried.

"Do you mean I'm in danger, down where you lured me?"


"It's a desert, you blithering fool,"

E muttered, and put one of her foot up on a stool.

"I came prepared, and grass there is not,

because the purpose of this is to get you quite hot."


Alexa stood still while E searched under the hood --

there were Alexa's six friends there, hiding well-good.


"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Emily said, looking under, said with a sneer.

"Six tiny reindeer, and they GET OUT OF HERE."

And she slapped the hood down, the friends ran in fear.


"Now get out of this place, to a place I can't hear."

Emily was not smart, but more aware than her peer.

Alexa did not look out, she was not astounded;

She figured her friends would leave her "out-on-the-sand"-ed.


Emily smirked, "now get out that stuff,"

she said to Alexa, pointing with  huff-puff.

"What are you planning?" Alexa asked E.

"Are you planning to hurt me, tie me to a tree?"


Emily grinned, and said: "You'll just wait and see."


Alexa, non-plussed, crossed her arms, stood aloft.

Emily walked around her, took a drink, which she quaffed.

Then she put a hand on A.'s shoulder, and pinched, quite soft.


Alexa gasped: "What was that for?" She said.

And her shoulder puffed up, it even turned red.


"I said I would get you hot," 'Ly said,

"And that you should use that, your prized head."

"Because if you don't, you might end up dead."


"What's this?" Alexa turned, said.

"A heat competition? Easier than bread."


Emily grinned: "I thought that's what you'd said."

Alexa laughed, "Well then, let's hope you'll be dead!"


Emily stood, took off a glove,

the slap to begin the duel would hit like a dove;

soft enough to be gentle -- hard enough to insult;

And that bitch Alexa would stir into revolt.




The duel was started, as plain as can see;

Alexa Pittman, and her old friend, Emily B;

Em stood there and Alexa thought up a plan,

it wouldn't be easy to take on a girl (who looked like a man).


Em circled 'round her, and Al. pondered,

the best move to take,

which one to conquer--

who would come back a stonker?


Em thought as she circled,

A got out her hand, her palm oustratched -- it just might land.

Em thought, and then got out what looked like a lasso.

Alexa smirked, and then said, "oh Poo."


Emily turned it around -- she was quite the cowherd --

and threw the loop around that skinny bird.

Alexa struggled, she squealed,

"That was easy," E said, and up to Alexa: "Just like that bread you dealed."


Alexa grimaced, she shuddered, as Em touched her cheek,

shimmied, and shook, to get the rope off her free.


Emily said, "it's no good to struggle.

But Alexa's butt was thin, while hers was quite a bubble.

A's cheeks had inflated, just a lil' bit,

and when A got out of the lasso,

E then thought: "oh shit."


Caus' A. had prepared something something of her own:

"Dolce and Gabbana, the best cologne."

Emily shook, she ran, but could not evade,

as Alexa put down her finger and sprayed.


The mist got to Em'ly, the cowgirl did fear:

"What did that big-mouth do, up here?

I'm the cowgirl, this one's just a slut --

in the desert, she's nothing but a good-looking butt."


"You thought that before," Alexa said with a grin,

"But did you think I was so much worse off than sin?

I came prepared, though the challenge I did not know,

even though it was not what I expected, it was quite the show."


Emily frowned, and she said: "But you cannot beat me,

Now what are you waiting for,

to get your butt out of a tree?

Hurry up over here and inflate me."


Alexa thought: "hm. This is far too easy."


And indeed, as Emily broke out of her bound,

the perfume was duped, and she sprang, from the pound,

It wouldn't inflate her, just work as a bluff,

and Alexa's hot words had become only just guff.


"Now see what a real cowgirl's made of," E said,

and poked that girl Alexa instead.

The shove touched A's ribs, and before you could see,

her chest inflated, and then that little belly.


"This battle is mine, what is mine lost is won,"

Emily said, and went for another one.


But Alexa, you reckon, knew better than that --

she was pretty thin (though while inflated), and E fat.

She would not let this bitch win... that was that.


Emily snarled -- "so what is your big plan?

You only just ran away, just as far as you can.

You must think you can outsmart me,

think I'm as "dumb as a man!""


Alexa chortled --she did think she was much better --

smarter, handsome, good with a feller.

But Emily B had a trick up a sleeve,

and tied that lasso an inch tighter, like a sieve.


Alexa grunted, said with surprise "what is this?"


Emily grinned, said: "just desserts, bitch."


Alexa frowned -- she hated that snitch.


Em'ly stepped forward, said "I beat you to the punch,

when there's physical contact, your muscles will bunch --

they'll all tense up, and your body grow big --

what this desert does to you, jig."


"You call me a pig?" The Alexa said,

And scooped up, threw a rock, at the Emily's head.

Through the daze of perfume, Emily could not quite see,

but when that rock hit her chest, plain as could be,

her bust blew up faster than the eye can see.


"Ha!" Alexa laughed, picked up another stone:

This time she would make it the last one thrown.

Emily, prepared, got out her big guns:

"I came prepared, you slut whore," she said as if she had won.


It was a hoe, or a hose to be exact, and you didn't want to be on the business end of that... (as a matter of fact).

A garden hose in the desert is quite a rare sight,

but with Emily B, she puts up a hell of a fight,

and she pulled out this hose, and slapped Alexa "whap," with a ring.


It had hit Alexa on the shoulder,

and before she could realize,

her arms had blown up,

to quite a big size.


"Haha!" shouted Emily, glorious as could be,

as she looked at Alexa, her ex-friend -- deary me.

And not a friend any longer, plain to see.

A big inflated woman, rounder'n you or me.


Alexa grinned, frowned, didn't know what to say --

this girl, this ex-friend of hers, had done her all day,

and when she thought she couldn't move her arms,

she didn't know about how she'd be harmed.


But Alexa could still use her legs,

and as ballet dancers know,

that if you jump on those lil' eggs,

you are bound to go.


Alexa's arms had lightened her, and her belly some too,

and with a run and a jump, over Em'ly she flew.

Her ballet dancer set had not ended in tears,

it had actually gotten her over her fears!


Now it was her choice: leave the desert... or make arrears.


She turned back to Emily: "I can beat you, you see.

You thought you looked good, standing under that tree.

But I am smarter, and that bodes well for me."


Emily scowled and backed up to her tree:

"well, if you're so cocky, then just beat me.

Let's see what you do when you kick with that knee."


And that knee she noted, was hit by a stone.

If it had not inflated, it would have broken a bone.


"OW!" Alexa said, and knew what Emily had thrown.

Emily stood victorious, standing on a throne.


A's leg had blown up, just up a bit now, but she couldn't move fast,

stuck like a cow.

That knee E had hit, the one that broke bone (or would have, if it hadn't inflated, I've known),

had transferred up into her leg, and had inflated, all alone.


"Oh shit," Alexa said, and Emily said indeed.

Feces was as good as what she decreed --

and if she would finish her,

she could ride off on her steed.


"That Harley Davidson?" Alexa said: "your getaway plan?

I've mentioned it before, but you drive just like a man."


"Be silent now, dear," Emily said,

came closer, and closer, the ballet girl's head.


But Alexa wasn't dead -- she had fight, I'll be dead --

and she planned to make this woman her loser, instead!


Alexa jumped up on one leg -- she was agile, you see--

And flew again over the dumbfounded Emily.


"You sow!" The farming woman cried in surprise.

"How could you do that, in front of my eyes?

I would have popped you, out of your miser...eyes ... @_@.


Alexa just looked quite proud -- "That's it," she said.

"I'm not looking back -- I'll be sure you end up dead."

Emily was not done -- just a little inflated.


Alexa was done -- she reared back on one of her feet.

She had stayed in the desert for purpose, and she was quite fleet.

Springing back on one heel, like a ballerina in hell,

She leapt up, aimed for Emily's big bottom bell.


Emily was too slow -- "Oh no," she said

and then took one in the ass, out of dread.

"Oh crap," she said, for the third time that day,

as inflated Alexa stood, proud and gay.


Emily: "Oh no," her butt floated up,

but not enough to make her float away, not a cup.

Her backside, buoyant, plain as to tell,

Emily Brazzel had not fallen under Alexa Pittman's spell.


Alexa snorted. "Are you finished?" She cheered.

"This is getting boring, you might've just reared.

I'm ready to end this and do as you feared!"


"If you can manage," the farm girl said, and up,

her butt made it tricky but she could get up.

"What else can you do?" The Dallas girl said.

As the country girl stood got to her head.

The Emily B had one trick up her sleeve --

it's a country girl's promise, and you might as well read.


"And what are you going to do?" Said her friend.

"I'm going to get you," she said, to the end.

"You're beet red in the face," Alexa said. "What else can you do? Sit up in bed? Say "No Thank You?""


Emily stood proud. And spat, and sat.

The saliva landed on Alexa's good hat.

And she got angry, as Emily had begat -- and she threw sand in her eyes -- and that was that.


"You don't fight fair!" The Dallas girl said.

"That's what I'm made for," Emily said to her head.

"Now bend over, you tart, and let me finish you here instead."

Alexa couldn't see -- it was Emily's victory.


Emily got her in a headlock first -- punched her once in the gut,

twice in the shirt.

Alexa's stomach grew three times that day --

and as big as Emily said, was looking like the may-day.


"You are getting quite fat," cowgirl said with a sneer.

"If you get any bigger you'll look like a beer."

Alexa just murmured, and said "hear-hear".


But as the story implied, this does not end with one burst, but two--

Because Alexa put her face on her friend's, and she blew.


"Mph!" (What are you doing?") The fat Emily said,

Alexa's body began to lift up, get red.

Their lips were lip-locked, tied head-to-head.

And as her friend said: "you might as well be dead."


Emily grunted, squealed, moaned -- she looked like a pig, and she looked stoned.

Alexa blew, grew, and their lips flew.

And anybody who saw that sad sight would say, "boo-hoo".

Alexa lifted into the air, and took her friend with her, to be fair.

The friends floated into the light, and into the night.


Alexa, as said, was quite good with a feller. And quite good with a girl, too -- I'll not be a yeller.

Emily embarrassed, said ("she's quite the feller").


And the blue-dress'd girl (Alexa) blew,

and Emily, in her jean-skirt, floated up, said "boo-hoo".


The seams of the jean-skirt busted, one-two-three-two,

while the blue-belted woman (that's A), blew and blew.


The two got bigger, bigger, grew.


("This is getting too much"), Emily said.

But her friend wouldn't stop, kept blowing on her head.


The night was carrying on now, and the two, quite fat, flew into the dew.


"That's enough," said Emily and said, "that is that,"

Then one final brush from the chorus-Alexa changed that.

Then she said, as if looking into the snow, at her dear friend Emily:

"I won't let you go."

And Emily, in her reticence, said ".....I know."

Then with one final kiss, the two girls' fate was sealed. The bitches exploded, down went their high heels. Their friends down there squealed, the jean-skirt did fly, and the day ended, blue dress and all, by-the-by.

And the friends they had left down there said: "Why?"

Author's Note: 

Well I had been dying to make this story a long time ago. I gave up a couple of times mid-way because I thought I would never finish it. But I accomplished it tonight, and in three hours no less. Plenty of proof-reading, and I think it's quite good. Emily B is Alexa's friend in real life -- but not as good of a friend ; ) Night!

Average: 3.4 (5 votes)
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AlecDeluxe's picture
Quite the Accomplishment

I confess I'd never heard the word "stonker" before. I was entertained AND I learned a little something.

I want to pop so much I could burst!

mearsob (not verified)
LOL. Stonker means stinker --

LOL. Stonker means stinker -- just differently said ; ). Thank you, a comment from AlecDeluxe! I thought this was like your story of the Mexican women who burst in the desert. Thank you very much!