Masterful. Please see my comments on deviantart. -Latecomer
Hollow
Wrote a new story last week. The idea was based on some light, non-clinical melancoly I was suffering from last week. Don't worry! I'm feeling better, but it did serve well as inspiration if I do say so myself.
<a href="http://throwaway261.deviantart.com/art/Hollow-356010454">Hollow on Deviant Art</a> (Note: Mature Content, requires DA login, no BI copy submitted yet)
From the Deviant Art art description at the bottom of the page:
They say "write what you know," so I did.
This is actually based on some thoughts I've been having on the subject of fetishes and the activity often associated with them. You get home, stressed-out, looking for release, something to take the edge off. If you are a fellow inflation fetishist with floating fantasies, you probably take a look-see at some CriticalVolume or SvenSvenson drawings, maybe read a couple Heliumgirl77 stories. You slowly but surely reach that pleasurable high, fighting to keep those thoughts and feelings in your mind as they threaten to trigger that last biological response we all have in the presence of what we find fantasy-fulfilling. There's a pleasurable crescendo, and then it's over. More than over, in fact. You can't bring back the high no matter how hard you try, and the thoughts you were trying to keep out, the stress, the boredom, the depression, come back with a vengeance. You just feel empty, powerless, hollow. I decided to take those thoughts, thoughts I've been feeling as of late, and run with them. This is the result.
This is definitely one of the most explicit things I have ever written. I don't know whether I should feel proud of that or not. It is also one of the least happy things I've ever written. Well, I guess it is happy in the middle, but then it just gets depressing again.
Comments? Criticism? Grammar or spelling mistakes? Please post below.
Now that it has had a bit of time out in the wild, I do have one or two things I wish I had done differently. First, in comparison to other stories that have come out (Inflate123's Rick McGuffin, Heliumgirl's Pennyweight, etc.) Hollow is very short. Then again, I tell stories in a different manner than everyone else, so I'm willing to chock that up to style and the story I want to tell. The second, however, does seem more like a legitimate concern. If you read my other story, The Factory, you will find that it and Hollow follow the same roadmap: start story, set setting and nameless female character, character blows up and floats like a balloon, character finds it highly enjoyable, end story. Any future stories from me are going to require a bit more variation.
Wed, 03/13/2013 - 20:32
#3
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:56
#4
Hollow is now available for your reading pleasure in the BodyInflation.org Library. Made a slight mistake, however. Accidentally submitted it saying it was written in 2012. I actually wrote it last month. As a result, it is not on the first page of the Library when set to cronological sorting. Already messaged Kane about it.
EDIT: and fixed
I loved hollow as a piece of fiction I found it to be fascinating as I read through it and didn't find myself with any constructive criticism to add. I hope you write more as it was good fun.