Female Inflation

A man sat in a booth at the dark end of the bar, a clutch of balloons drifting back and forth above his head as air currents from the heating toyed with the pretty rubber globes. His posture and alert response every time the door opened denoted he was waiting for someone with great eagerness. The perfect victim.

"Danny boy... sweetie pie..."

Danny, chewing on a shoot of grass, nervously squinted at Darlene through the bright studio lights.

"...I slept with Sue."

Danny's eyes grew wide and his jaw slackened as the audience began hooting. Tears began to well up in Darlene's eyes. "But I still love you, Danny boy!" she said in her thick southern drawl. "All three of us can be happy together!"

Danny rose out of his chair, adjusted his overalls, and pointed an angry yokel finger at Darlene. "Why you [BEEP]! [BEEP][BEEP]---"

The Hubbell Research Group had been a frantic hive of activity for several weeks.  Five years was a long time to be idle, and the staff was straining to handle the volume of leads that Barney was producing.  But even with so much work to be done, nobody commented when Jack came in on Friday morning with his usual stack of tabloids.

"Hey Barney."

"Hey Jack."

"The Dog Boy got engaged to the Turtle Girl," he said, flipping through The Snoop.

"I'm certain that will be a fascinating wedding registry.  Anything in the headlines jump out at you?"

The inn was nice and quaint. It was made completely of wood, a little stone path leading up to the door through a white picket fence. Behind the inn was a pool and behind that was a large garden and orchid filled with sweet, naturally grown treats. It seemed like a wonderfully normal place.

“What’s your name miss?”

“Jackie Hills.” She answered.

“Ah yes! Miss Hills! I have your room key. Shall we go?”