Rough Breakup, A

Date Written: 

Hiya honey~! You doing alright up there? Well, as alright as things can get under the circumstances at least. I imagine that finding out the hard way that your girlfriend is breaking up with you *and* that people can get inflated like balloons *and* getting left out tied to a railing on the balcony, floating in the breeze for hours while I hang out with all my hot girlfriends, all in the space of like one day would put a dampener on anyone's spirits. Ah well, whatever, I'm getting sidetracked. 

Listen, I'm *really* sorry that things had to end this way. yknow, the whole "me and my girlfriends all getting together and blowing you up into our personal fuckblimp" thing, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that things were always gonna end this way at some point or another. Blowing up guys is… kinda just something that girls do, yknow? I know, I know, I thought it sounded ridiculous too, but then Rebecca told me about it and showed me a few videos online and I just got more and more curious until eventually I just had to try it for myself. Fast forward to my inflation pills arriving in the mail, and here we are~

Yeah, somewhere down the line, be it hearing about it from friends or online or just getting the strangest urge to start blowing down her boyfriend's throat mid-makeout, every girl eventually realises that her lover would make a far better balloon than a boyfriend. Once that happens, she simply can't look at boys the same way again. She suddenly becomes aware of how easy it is to overhear a conversation between two friends about the guys they turned into blueberries last night. She wonders how she never noticed how common it is to see a girl walking down the street with some big round boytoy bobbing on a string above her. Hell, every girl you ever see giving some guy dreamy eyes in public? I guarantee you she's picturing how adorable and pathetic he'd look all big and blue and sloshy, or floating on the end of a string. 

Kinda like you are right now~

To be fair, can you really blame us gals? That stupid look on your face after the pills I slipped into your drink started working and your tummy started to inflate was absolutely *priceless*. Plus, getting to hump and grind your big round body until I came? *Fuck*, best sex I've had in years. Honestly, I don't know how I could go back to just dating boys like normal again after this. it's like my entire perspective has changed. You boys are supposed to be inflated; you're just balloons in waiting. You're something for us girls to blow up, have their fun with, and then dispose of. 

That last part is… kinda why I'm out here. I kinda feel bad ending things like this. I was planning on keeping you for a few days, taking you on walks through the park, show you off to all the other girls I meet, see how many newbies I could convince to try blowing up their own boyfriends, all that good stuff. To be entirely honest though, I'm having *way* too much fun with my girlfriends to wanna bother keeping a pathetic balloon boy like you around that much longer. I mean, you generally get rid of the balloons at the end of a party, right? So , I’m afraid, this is where we’ll be saying goodbye.

The only question is, how best to dispose of you? I could always just pop you right now, I suppose. Dig my nails into your taut, round body, or bring you inside and have us all take turns puffkissing you until you're ever so slightly too big, or maybe I could ride your taut, rubbery belly one last time and squeeze you tight between my thighs until we both finish in our own ways~. However, I’ve got something else in mind. I think I’d much rather watch you slowly drift away from this balcony, higher and higher into the clouds until you’re just an errant speck floating on the breeze. You're just barely filled to the point of floating, so I'll have plenty of time to savour your helpless body float upwards like a child's lost balloon. Again, I’m *really* sorry to be doing this, but, again, it was gonna happen eventually. Besides, you really are way more fun as a balloon than a boyfriend, so at least this way you actually get to satisfy me for once. 

Oooooh, you feel that? Feel the breeze having that much more sway over you now? I just untied your string~. That's right, the only thing standing between you and that starry evening sky, is your mean, bitchy ex-girlfriend. Oh no, what a terrible predicament~! You look so, *so* adorable and helpless bobbing around above me like this. Shame I'm not gonna get to see it for much longer. Ah well, I'm sure I'll find some other cutie to blow up like a balloon. I need to start catching up to the gals' scores, after all~

As for you, however…

Oh! Almost forgot! 

Gotta make sure I record this. Saying goodbye to my first balloon boy. Likely the first of many, many more.

Now then… 


be a good balloon and float away for me, ok~?

Au revoir, Darling~ Have a nice flight~

Author's Note: 

what was going to be a script I commissioned from an nsfw VA on twitter before realising that I was hashtag Fucking Broke and thus decided to spruce up a bit into a full on story

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