Mighty Heroines vs The Ballooner, The

Date Written: 
08/22/2014

It is a fairly typical day in Goodhaven. The city was blessed with good weather and clear skies, as usual. But something diabolical was lurking at the nearby circus…

Under the big top, a clown known as The Ballooner was being told off by her boss, the pompous ringmaster.

“No, you fool,” The ringmaster, a stuffy man said in a conceited voice. “You are done here. Your last act sent the audience running for the hills! You are bad for business. I’m afraid I must ask you to pack your things and leave at once.” But the clown only sneered.

“My dear ringmaster, you are acting a bit big for your britches. I think it’s only fair that you should look the part.” She removed her large, mustard-colored glove and poked the ringmaster in his slightly large belly. With a slight hiss, the blustery man filled with air, inflating just like a balloon. He groaned slightly as he swelled, his arms, legs and head sticking out ludicrously. Somehow, his clothes stretched to cover his growing girth. Just when the now-giant ringmaster thought it couldn’t get any worse, he began to float! His feet left the ground and he drifted towards the top of the tent.

With a wicked cackle, the clown ran around the circus and added them to her collection. The blonde trapeze girls clung to their ropes as their spherical bodies threatened to carry them away. The sword swallower now shied away from his weapons as well as he could with his stubby legs. The fattest woman in the world now took up even more space than usual. Even the lion floated around the inside of the tent, trying to run toward the offensive clown. Grinning at her handy work, the clown then turned and left the tent, turning her sinister eyes toward Goodhaven.

Within hours, dozens of innocent citizens floated around the skies, trying to keep from floating away. Will there be anyone brave enough to fight such a wretched villain?!

With that, a call goes out to the Mighty Heroines!

 

STRONG WOMAN! A mechanic- tall, blonde, and muscular. Can easily lift cars with one hand! When she gets the call, she tears off her oil-stained overalls to reveal a skintight red suit with long sleeves and no legs, a thick, golden belt, and a light blue cape. Her gleaming white boots climb up her legs, ending at her knees. An “H” is emblazoned across her chest. With a scream of “Yahoo!”, she leaps into flight, accidentally creating a giant crater in the asphalt.

 

CUCKOO WOMAN! A dizzy, very cute blonde woman, the owner of a pet shop. She’s feeding her beloved birds when the call comes. She flounces across the shop, leaping up into a cuckoo clock. It squawks and screeches, alarming all the other birds. After several moments of struggling, she emerges in her uniform. It too is red, but covers her from head to toe, with the lower part of her face and eyes showing. She also has a blue cape and emblazoned “H.” Her cute little butt plays host to a collection of bright yellow flowers. She cries out, “Eh, cuckoo, cuckoo!” and flaps her arms frantically to stay in the air.

 

TORNADO WOMAN! Tornado Woman is a meteorologist, and as she looks out the window, she sees the call. Tornado Woman is a short brunette, and the moment she is needed, she whips up into a windy vortex, her pencil skirt and blouse flying across the room. When the dust clears, she stands triumphantly in her uniform- just like Cuckoo Woman’s, but light blue, with red boots, gloves, and a red cape. She shouts “Whee!” and a tornado flies out the window.

 

ROPE WOMAN! Down on the docks stands Rope Woman, a sailor. She is very tall, red-haired, and very thin. As she ties a boat to the dock, the call arrives. After whipping around to see, she vanishes into her naval uniform. It dances around for moment, then Rope Woman reveals herself. She is made entirely of rope, except for her head. Unlike the other Heroines, her only uniform is her bright red ball cap and blue cape. “Gung-ho!” She yells as she takes to the air.

 

AND…. DIAPER WOMAN! A baby girl in a crib sits sucking on a bottle of milk. Her head is covered in a thick layer of reddish-brown hair, and she wears a red and blue one-z. A commotion arises outside, one she recognizes instantly. She pulls the cover of the crib up and, moments later, Diaper Woman is revealed! She’s now wearing a blue cape in addition to her one-z. She takes a swig from her bottle and takes to the sky, calling out “Up and away!”

 

The mayor met the Mighty Heroines in the air. She didn’t really have a choice. The smartly dressed, young red-head was currently floating fifty feet above her office. As this woman had inflated, her belt got pushed up just under her chest. Somehow it prevented the mayor’s chest and arms from inflating. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for everything else. It looked like her arms, head and bust had been stuck onto a Volkswagon, which had then been crammed into her gray pinstriped pants. Her tiny feet kicked at one end as her crossed arms sat on her bulging stomach.

“Things are getting worse,” She said as the Mighty Heroines flew up to meet her. “This villain has inflated most of the town. I’m lucky Mindy tied us down before the clown broke into my office.” She indicated the phone cord tied around her foot and, several feet below her, her bloated secretary. Mindy was of Asian descent, meaning she was normally tiny. But right now, the young secretary resembled a hot air balloon, stuffed into a frilly lime-green blouse and black pencil skirt. As she rotated and spotted the Heroines, she pushed her thick glasses up her nose and waved with difficulty. “You know the drill, Heroines. Stop this madwoman before I have to add several dozen sizes to my wardrobe.”

With a nod, the Heroines bravely zoomed into the town and out of sight. As they flew away, the mayor hiccupped. She felt herself expand a little more. She rolled over with difficulty to see Mindy also hiccup. The secretary swelled even more visibly, adding at least five more feet to her diameter.

 

Cuckoo Woman was the first to land (somewhat painfully) right in front of the Ballooner. The dizzy blonde rose awkwardly and faced the clown.

“Your days of ballooning the town are at an end!” The woman shouted, putting her hands in the “put-‘em-up” position. “Let’s see what you got!” The clown smiled in mock innocence.

“Why, I’m just an innocent clown! I just do tricks!” Cuckoo Woman lowered her hands cautiously. “Let me show you my favorite!” And before she could move, the clown reached out and patted Cuckoo Woman’s stomach.

“Cuckoo Woman, get away!” Strong Woman cried, but it was too late. Cuckoo Woman noticed a strange tightness in her costume and looked down. Her normally tiny tummy was now bulging like a puffer fish, and continuing to grow. She felt the same in her perky backside, which was currently billowing out like a hot air balloon.

“Whoa!” Cuckoo Woman cried as, very suddenly, her giant breasts were pushed into her face. Within moments, the slender heroine was reduced (or rather, enlarged) into a feathered ball with scrawny arms, kicking feet and a blonde head sticking out.

“Mighty Heroines?” The clown giggled, clapping gleefully. “I’m about to have a Mighty Balloon collection!”

“You won’t get away with this!” Cuckoo Woman cried out, her voice muffled by her own body. Still giggling, The Ballooner walked over to Cuckoo Woman and easily lifted her massive body in one hand. She then took a string and tied it around the Heroine’s foot. Cuckoo Woman now floated over The Ballooner’s head, writhing hopelessly.

“Who will be next?”

“I’ll send that fiend flying!” Shouted Tornado Woman. “Whee!” She spun into a giant twister, which quickly devoured the Ballooner and her victim. The other three Heroines watched excitedly as they heard punches landing. Their excitement soon turned to horror as the tornado vanished. Tornado Woman had gotten herself tangled in Cuckoo Woman’s string.

“Sorry, Tornado Woman…” Cuckoo Woman said.

“Sorry, Cuckoo Woman…” said Tornado Woman. The Ballooner laughed and reached out, patting Tornado Woman’s stomach. The short woman swelled quickly, her short body growing into a blue ball. She waved her shrinking arms and kicked her chubby legs until only hands and feet remained. The Ballooner tied a string to her foot as well, adding a blue balloon to her collection.

“We have to distract her!” Diaper Woman said. “Rope Woman, while I distract her, you tie her up, the Strong Woman can grab her and take her off to jail!”

“Got it!” The other two said.

“Hey!” Diaper Woman called, waving her chubby little arms. “Show me a magic trick, clown!” The Ballooner paused to consider.

“Well ok then! But first, I need a volunteer.” A skinny woman walked down the street at just the wrong moment as the clown reached out and grabbed her upper arm.

“Hey! What gives?” The tan, athletic brunette complained. She wore a bright green tank top and gray running shorts, her long hair tied back out of her face. The clown let the two strings go (But the inflated Heroines bobbed in place) and pulled a salt shaker out of her obnoxious plaid vest.

“Just ordinary table salt! But in the hands of The Ballooner-” She threw the powder all over the girl. There was a pause when suddenly, she began to plump up. Her toned stomach bulged suddenly, followed by her butt and chest. Her thighs widened and her arms grew round. The girl screamed out, her hands at her face. “-Tada! Now she’s a balloon too! Hahahahahaha!”

“Now, Rope Woman!” Diaper Woman shrieked as the athlete continued to swell. She looked like an overfilled yoga ball with bright green and gray clothes painted on her taut, tan flesh. Her arms and legs had all but disappeared, and her wide eyes looked frantically at her body. The woman made of rope burst from the bushes, tying a knot around the Ballooner’s ankle.  Several moments later, the clown was completely tied up. The hot air athlete began to float away, still expanding. The small moon floated towards some scaffolding and she held on for dear life.

With The Ballooner incapacitated, Strong Woman jumped from the bushes and picked the clown up. “Ha-HA, we got you now!”

“Oh, have you?” The clown laughed, poking Rope Woman with her fingers. Suddenly, Rope Woman began to unravel, pulling away from the clown like a long, thin balloon. Strong Woman stepped back as her 30-foot-long counterpart waved in the air. “I LOVE balloon animals!” She grabbed Rope Woman and, in a cartoony cloud, engulfed Strong Woman. When the smoke cleared, Rope Woman had been tied in a complicated knot around Strong Woman. “My favorite is called the knot! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Sorry, Strong Woman.” Rope Woman apologized.

“Aww, now it’s just one!” The clown cried. “Playtime is almost over. It’s been fun, but you’ll complete my collection!” As the clown advanced threateningly, Diaper Woman noticed the salt shaker abandoned on the ground. She snatched it and hid it behind her back, with the bottle.

“Before you inflate me,” Diaper Woman said. “Have a drink. It’ll make you feel better.”

“I just might!” The greedy clown laughed. “What a good girl, sharing her things!” The Ballooner took the bottle and chugged it down. With a smack of the lips, she tossed it aside.

Her painted face spasmed almost instantly. She stomped her feet like a child, yelling, “No no no! It isn’t fair!” Her baggy clown costume was baggy no longer- the clown’s expanding form filled it quite nicely. Her hands and feet were absorbed as she grew bigger and bigger, outsizing even the biggest of her creations. The clown began to float away, spinning end over end. Her head as soon absorbed into her globe of a body. Her yells of “No!” could still be heard, muffled and angry. Soon the sky was filled with gaudy plaid cloth. A rumble filled the Heroines’ ears, and with a final “No!” the clown exploded. Golden powder rained down from The Ballooner’s body, landing on everyone. To their delight, the Heroines deflated, returning (almost) to their regular sizes.

“Let’s go talk to the mayor!” Diaper Woman cried. The Heroines agreed and, with their individual yells, they took off towards town hall.

 

“Congratulations, Heroines!” The mayor said happily from behind her desk. “The Ballooner got a taste of her own medicine and the city has been deflated!”

“Well gosh, mayor, don’t thank us!” Cuckoo Woman said, her body still hosting exaggerated curves. “It’s our job!” The women nodded and filed out, preparing to return to their regular lives. The door closed behind them and, with a sigh, the mayor hefted herself to her feet. It took a lot of effort because, unlike the rest of town, the mayor hadn’t deflated as well. Everything down to her stomach returned to normal. Unfortunately, her rear was still enormous- both cheeks resembled giant, overfilled yoga balls. She didn’t even need a chair to sit at her desk. The mayor waddled over to the door and opened it again, allowing Mindy to enter.

The poor secretary was still very inflated. Her arms and legs were slender as they had been before, but everything in-between was still enormous. She looked like an inflatable Christmas lawn ornament with normal arms and legs sticking out.

“I don’t think the Heroines even noticed the door is ten feet wider now,” Mindy said, placing her tiny hands on her giant hips.

“I love those ladies, but they are all a bit slow.” The mayor also placed her hands on her hips. “Mindy, get my tailor on the phone. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“I might get used to this,” Mindy said absently, running her hands up and down her round body as she waddled out the door.

 

High above the city, the athlete remains. Unlike the rest of the city, she is still inflated. Part of the scaffolding caught all the powder destined for her. The brunette looks ready to cry when her body shudders. The hissing audible, the inflating resumes. Eyes wide, she looks down at the ground.

 

“Uh-oh…”

Author's Note: 

An adaptation of an old cartoon my dad watched as a kid. Enjoy!

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A caution

You might want to remove the character diaper woman from the story for reasons that should in time become self-evident.